In Oregon, there are two types of child custody: legal and physical. My husband and I decided to try to adopt them. Denial and Depression Commonly Occur After a Miscarriage. The lies that I have heard through court hearings from my wife and what she has told the courts is unbelievable. Therefore, such a parent is not able to obtain custody of a child in the first instance. It has been a month now, and my daughter barely talks to me and sometimes refuses to answer me. I feel a pain inside, and it never goes away. Your daughter was a true ray of sunshine, and we lost her too soon. He used to threaten me that he will kill me. A fake court, if you can call it that, apparently has the power to steal my children. Just know you're always in my heart I never hurt her or myself. Were you touched by this poem? My father has most of the custody over me and my siblings. I cannot say "hang in there, it gets better" because I don't know that. It felt like I'd lost everything I had. And to think that if I send an honest, heartfelt letter or card in the mail, she would have to throw it away to hide the "evidence" of how deep my love is and how much I hurt. I thank God that I found and married my husband. But I put it in God's hands and know everything happens for a reason, whether we see it or not. A parent with perpetual substance abuse problems runs the risk of losing parental rights all together. They were taken because I was broken, fragile, intimidated, had no money, no support and he had really good support from our corrupted law in our city. I'm learning to take care of myself, to be strong, not justify or defend myself. I am totally in the same spot with my sons who CPS adopted out in a shady deal. For almost 3 years I jumped through hoops. I was a full-time dad, a damn lucky one. My parents have been divorced since I was little, and I've always wondered what it was like for them when they were getting divorced. This is the most touching of all poems I have been reading. Now she is engaged to a man old enough to be her father. ... Like the fact that she suffered from postpartum depression after her first child ... New moms worry postpartum depression could mean losing their children. I think of my kids everyday. I used pot to help the depression, but I never did it around my daughter. I am a wonderful mother, but I let him get to me one night while he was out of town with my daughter when I found out he took off her heart monitor, so I wanted to end it all. If hitting is part of the regular parenting strategy, therefore, now is a good time to take a step back and look at how it can affect each parent’s relationship with the child. I waited 18 years before I found them again. And even in the times of feeling downer than down, what saved our relationship was simply being around. I now know what loss and heartbreak are really about. Through The Eyes Of A Child By I got into trouble with law enforcement due to possession of cannabis. It's been many years for me and yet here I am 1am... sad. :(. We still have our struggles, and, as anyone who's suffered loss can tell you, you never know what life is going to throw at you. I've had a really hard time since then. Losing a child suddenly changes you; ... Another option is to create a playlist in memory of your child, write a poem, or create a song—anything that provides a creative outlet for your grief. My stepdad told the cops my fiancé's daughter's father was dealing drugs, but he was never doing that. March 23, 2005 - There is no greater loss than the loss of a child. I have one also but from another perspective. The days and hours in court not only hurt the children but also me the parent. It has been hell. I'm a good person, and I don't deserve this. Shock and surprise, in the blink of an eye. Did you spell check your submission? My son is currently spending a lot of time with his father's new girlfriend who used to do drugs and was even in jail. I love them more than my own life and I will always BE RIGHT HERE. I feel your pain. She's been in a coma for a week. I am sad and always hoping one day my prayers will be answered, if not, I truly tried to make things right. This poem has touched my heart. I feel useless and hopeless during that time. The saddest thing happened to his 2 year old little girl a couple of months ago while she was in her own mothers custody. It's amazing all the lies one woman can tell. Losing a child. Being denied contact, you lose identity as a mother. That was 11 years ago, and I write this with tears flowing as much today as then. Part of HuffPost News. Of course talking to the mother did not help at all. I ended it due to my ex always blackmailing me with suicide and lies. 17. I'm still a kid myself! We've been going through a divorce for 2 years but decided on our own to get back together so we signed a lease about 3 months ago. I am currently in contact with two of my three children only through text. Believe me I'm a great Father! As you know, the pain is immense. This has ripped my family apart, and I'm sad that my daughter is losing "family" because they did not understand that my mental illness is treatable and I am capable of taking care of my daughter. I search the internet for new ideas of things to add to their trunks. I feel your pain. I am still hurting and cry when I'm alone. I filed a contempt and ended up cutting her a deal anything to stop the alienation and get on with life. I've seen a ton of kids go through unimaginable crap, and it broke my heart every time Job and Family services would screw around with their lives. After a series of poor decisions, Jonathan learned that his ongoing depression was a result of undiagnosed PTSD. I was a teacher and I worked in the inner city. or sunshine in your eye? I know God sees us through our trials, and sometimes we never know why. This poem really touched me and made my heart ache even more. Lisa. . All I can do is hope and pray that the time and love we had together she will carry in her heart as will I. Mental illness doesn’t automatically disqualify a parent from getting custody.It will, however, likely influence the decision. The parents have a 12 year old child that is getting the grade F in 4 out of his 5 classes and is seriously acting out in class, getting into fights and regularly being disciplined. I went through the same thing with my son. The reason that depression may be an issue in a child custody case is that it may have a bearing on the child’s best interests. I wished there were more support groups for men like us. His mother remarried again. I want to share my story of hope! Thank you for sharing this. Now my children want no part of me. His dad remarried, and he has a sister. I fear that my beloved girl will take me out of her life since she feels that I abandoned her. My ex stopped me seeing my children the day after I stopped paying maintenance when I lost my job. Your daughter was a true ray of sunshine, and we lost her too soon. I was touched as I read this poem. We used to live with my ex-sister-in-law and her new husband. I've read all the books and studied the articles. When a mother loses custody, the child’s other parent may have sole parental responsibilities, the child may become a ward of the state, or the child may be placed in the custody of a relative. I used to feel guilty for simple things like laughing, having fun, or being happy because I felt like I didn't deserve to feel any type of joy if I failed being a mother. It's been 4 years since I've seen my son. Mind you, I live in Iola, KS, not many job opportunities. Also my son is married. She's hurting so bad inside and just as lost and confused as myself. Every day the pain gets worse. We try to focus on our kids, each other, and ourselves, and not on what could have been or might be coming. It's been so long! This twenty year old guy. We still have our struggles, and, as anyone who's suffered loss can tell you, you never know what life is going to throw at you. Anyway, the fake court gave my mother real power. She was born with spina bifida and fetal alcohol syndrome. Why can't I guide you through this world? My son is 14 now and my daughter is 13 now. Jessica L. Schickel, Daddy Walked Out By I lost total communication with my son five years ago (he is 18 now). My daughter just turned 3. If a child is sick for a period of time, the family has time to come to terms with the idea of losing the child. The story that started the mess was a recycled idiotic fable my mom had already tried to use. By separating fears from reality, you can better understand how to maintain or regain custody of your child (or children), and what role your mental health treatment program should play as you seek to keep your family together. Not only can mental illness impact the outcome of your case, but court cases involving mental illness can also be more expensive.. Parental mental health is very important to the overall well-being of the children. Two little girls in my class stole my heart! The shock and heartbreak of not being able to be with my little angel on our special days is unbearable. This is an excellent page full of sound advice BUT in reality many parents will still be far from convinced that sharing their concerns with social workers is a safe thing to do. All stories are moderated before being published. Jan 9, 2017 - Loss or separation from children due unjust court orders, abuse, alienation or Domestic Violence by Proxy. Facing the death of a child may be the hardest thing a parent ever has to do. Because of that I can only now be a part time mother. I'm a 59 year-old mother of four and a retired RN who knows a lot about parental alienation syndrome. I tried everything. I've had a few visitations since December last year but they moved a couple of months ago and I miss them so much. Your depression is not preventing you from taking care of your children. Her mother is not interfering; she is cooperating with me or tries at least, but I don't want to force my daughter. She changed my 9 and 4 years old's last name and put her name on the birth certificate. This poem speaks truth and I get stuck on WHY. The words in this poem are what my heart aches to let him know. Who can blame the parent who has lost a custody battle for feeling bitter, angry, depressed and anxious? My mother has very little custody. They ripped my heart out of my chest. I started a charm bracelet for my daughter & a tool collection & remote control items for my son. In the video below, our Head of Professional Development and experienced child custody lawyer, Dr Bernard Andonian discusses this aspect of UK family law which is also outlined in this article. She refuses visitations. One in 1,000 women develop the more serious condition called postpartum psychosis. I lost my son last year. My two beautiful baby girls 2 and 3 years old were taken from me by Cps and my rights were taken. We live in the same town. Coping with the grief and loss of a child. One bad move could be grounds for a parent completely losing custody over the child, especially if other people have witnessed the punishment. Your family lost a child and there are no reasonable words of comfort to make it all okay. They often have more anger, guilt, physical symptoms, greater depression, and a loss of meaning and purpose in life. Don't give up hope. For some people, intense grief after the death of a loved one can lead to depression or make underlying depression worse. He wants to avoid conflict. I will lend you, for a little time, A child of mine, he said. Twice her mother took her and ran, making her miss her kindergarten class and special events she had been looking forward to. It’s been a little over a year now. I hope that someday my story will be heard. Your child will come to you. They often have more anger, guilt, physical symptoms, greater depression, and a loss of meaning and purpose in life. While a loss of a parent or caregiver is traumatic for any child, the likelihood of this turning into depression depends on four factors, according to a report in the Journal of American Psychiatry. Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. I know what you’re going through. No words of comfort to be found. I'm still a kid myself! Shock and surprise, in the blink of an eye. I bought a trunk for each of them. I know exactly how you feel this pain seems to never go away. It breaks my heart to see her hurting so badly from someone who is meant to protect her. wrong! I would give up my life just to see them again!! She treats me like I'm nothing. It's so hard to go on when there are these parts of you out there that we are inclined by nature to nurture, love on, celebrate, and protect and we are not in position to be a part of the day to day or even seasonal activities or festivities. Listen. I am going through a time when my daughter is angry and has turned away from me for now. ... when men divorce poems Parenting depression divorce. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. The stole my children, didn't let me see them for 2 weeks, investigated me, I jumped through their hoops for 2 years, had a baby in the middle of this, whom they took from me at the hospital, they found me mentally incapable because I have PTSD and I am bipolar, and I really just had no support system. No actions to be taken. By I went to court, but they denied my request to set up visits. The pain and emptiness fills me up day and night. I know the pain you feel. I did everything I could but hardly saw my daughter during the 10 yrs she was brainwashed to believe her father was a good, safe person and I was dangerous. Anita A. Nolan, Poem About Dad Coming Back Into Daughter's Life, Sympathy Poems I don't usually comment on anything, but I can relate to your story so much! Lucky to get my 2 daughters about 3 weeks ago my husband said he was our... Poker face in front of others, but she made up a story got. 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